THEMES THAT YOU LIKE

Ari's Wonderland

Uh. I like tacos and nerdy things.

soufflesandbowties:

50% of my jokes are self deprecating and 50% are self congratulatory like i’ll say “wow its hot in here…. just like me” and 5 seconds later point at a trash can and say “me”

(Source: soufflles, via ghostlywinters)

msh30:

team i can’t do math for shit but i can write a 3 page english paper in less than an hour 

(via juwlie)

bewwbs:

how to get girls to like you:

  1. compliment their eyebrows
  2. eat them out

(Source: drunkvanity, via tinadayton)

  • cashier: do you want the receipt?
  • me: yas bitch tell me everything
  • operator: 911, please hold.
  • me: stop murdering me for a sec; we're on hold.
  • murderer: ok